Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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