all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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