I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
