we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
do nipples grow back?
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