Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
