get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize