Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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