need another drink. this is the easiest way
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
