went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
