I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize