This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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