I want to walk on stilts...naked
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
