Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
