You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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