my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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