I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
