Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What a dumb baby whore.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
