Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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