walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
