just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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