When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
