we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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