is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
