I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize