Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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