so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Two words: blizzard sex
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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