.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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