I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
PANTIES FOUND
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