just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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