I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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