yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
