fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I need a beard to bite.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
