Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
