I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
