why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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