i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
