if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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