Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
