we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Randomize
