So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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