nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
