You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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