I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize