I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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