nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
