i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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