How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize