You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
