people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
