Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
