I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
