Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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