is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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