It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
