Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
