I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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