we have officially lost it.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
