So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
