Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
