You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
